Time To Be Honest
by Kaze Kimizu
Summary: Just a little bit of Matt's thoughts. I suppose he's just talking to himself...either way, it's sweet. Almost sugar-sweet. Rating is simply because he's got a pottymouth, and there's mention of sex. Otherwise, it's suitable for teens.


**Author's Note:** Random Matt drabbles this time. How fun, right? Hehe, I liked how this turned out. It all started with a few of the "I love him" lines and morphed into this nice fluffy story. It's about time for some cuteness, don't you think? For once, nobody's getting abused or raped. xP Oh, and totally off-subject...but does anyone else absolutely LOVE Mello's English voice actor? I nearly died at the last English episode on Adult Swim! Yay! So yes, enough of this talking - time for some fluff! Onward!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Death Note. Know why? If I owned Death Note, freakin' Near wouldn't exist.

**Warning:** Wow, mild story here. But Matt has a pottymouth, and there's mention of sex, so it's getting a rating of M. Just to be on the safe side.

You know, I've really been thinking about Mello lately. For some reason, I feel like something's going to happen soon. He's going on a very dangerous mission, and I want to be sure I'm prepared in case…something bad happens.

It's time to be honest with myself.

Mello and I have been friends since we were kids, free to misbehave and learn and goof off. Our time at Wammy's was nothing short of mischievous. We'd play a prank on fuckin' Near, get caught, and laugh our asses off while we completed our punishment chores together.

It feels like an eternity ago.

When I finally caught up with Mello, he had gotten into some pretty deep shit. You don't fuck with the Mafia and live. But somehow, some way, Mello did it. He never told me exactly how he got involved with the underground, but I can just imagine. He probably dove in head-first, and outsmarted anyone who got in his way. He probably rose through the ranks by his cunning, cold, and calculating nature. Even though I know better, I can only hope that he didn't kill anyone. He always said he was afraid of death…

But that was years ago.

Now we're rooming together in the heart of Los Angeles, in some crappy apartment that we pay for with stolen cash. I never thought that we would see each other after Wammy's. But then again, I never thought I'd go chasing after him when he left.

I never knew that I loved him.

Love is such a tricky word. There's too many kinds of love. There's love for girls, love for boys, love for family. Not that I know what family is like. Mello's the only family I've ever known. He's like a brother to me.

Except, he's more than that.

Mello's like the mystery in the back of some dime store novel. You never knew it would be so good until you really started reading it. And once you've gotten close to the end of the book, you've nearly decided that it's the best book in the world.

I just hope there aren't any surprise endings.

Mello and I are together for a reason. When I found him, he had almost forgotten what love was. I had to remind him. When we were reunited, he had forgotten all the important things from Wammy's. He had forgotten the times when we sat against the wall, talking about dreams and futures until the sun peeked over our windowsill. He had forgotten the times when we ran down the halls, laughing our hearts out, pushing others to the side, letting go of all our cares and responsibilities. He had forgotten that cold November night when he kissed me for the first time and I kissed him back.

I had to make him remember.

And somewhere along the way, I realized that I truly love Mello. I really do. I love everything about him, and I couldn't picture my life without him. He's the only person in this whole world that I would take a bullet for. He's my best friend. He's my lover. He's my partner-in-crime. He's everything to me. And I realized that I love the little things about him…

I love it when he twists his blonde locks up into a sloppy bun, because I know he's mine for the day when he doesn't fix his hair.

I love it when he runs out of chocolate, because I know he'll ask for a kiss to keep the sweetness in his mouth until I buy him another bar.

I love it when he bitches about my smoking habits, because I know that means he worries for my health.

I love it when he decides my cooking sucks, because I know he'll tie his hair up and cook a fresh meal for us. And we'll eat it together.

I love it when he's so tired that he passes out on the couch, because I know it's my duty to pick him up and carry him to our bed.

I love it when he's angry, because I know he'll take it out on me in bed.

I love it when he's sulking from a bad day, because I know that I can make him smile, even if he tries to hide it.

I love it when he gets into fights, because I know I'm the only one who can bandage his wounds and kiss them better.

I love it when he pulls his camera out, because I know that nobody will see our pictures except us.

I love it when he cusses and rants, because I know I'm the only person he'll complain to.

I love it when he's angry enough to hurt me, because I know his apologies are sweeter than the sweetest candy on earth.

I love it when he plays video games with me, because I know he'll beat me at all the shooting games. And I love to see him win.

I love it when he tells me to get in the car, because I know we'll drive until dark and never care where we've gone or where we're going.

I love it when he gives me those looks full of emotion, because I know I'm the only person who will ever see the soul behind his eyes.

I love it when he's so absorbed in the Kira case that he forgets to eat, because I know he loves it when I bring home his favorite takeout dishes.

I love it when he has something important to say, because I know that his full attention is on me until he's said it.

I love it when he's scared of tomorrow, because I know he'll treat me like today is our last day together.

I love it when he wakes up from a nightmare, because I know he'll crawl close to me and pretend he's still sleeping.

I love it when he lets me play my music loud, because I know he'll join me in dancing around the apartment like we're kids again.

I love it when he smiles for me, because I know I'm the only one who can keep him happy.

I love it when he feels relaxed, because I know that he's not worrying about the Kira case or the Mafia or anything. I love him when he's peaceful.

I love it when we first wake up, because I know his hair is a mess and his breath smells, and I don't mind a bit.

I love it when I'm under him, glancing into his gorgeous eyes, because I know that I'm the closest thing to his heart and nothing will ever change that.

You know, I really think that I love him. And even if today ends and tomorrow never comes, nothing can peel this smile off my face. Because I know that Mello is mine, and I am his, and nothing can ever separate us. We're together in this life, forever. Let Kira have the world – I've got Mello, and nothing else matters.


End file.
